Saturday, June 11, 2011

On Turning 40

Yesterday was my last day in my 30s.  It was an eventful and amazing decade.  I started my 30s living in Hoboken, New Jersey, a virtual newlywed, with no children.  We celebrated my birthday at the Cowgirl Hall of Fame in New York City, a nod to my Texas roots.  Later we went to Chelsea Piers for some glow-in-the-dark bowling.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I had a minor freak-out the morning of my birthday.  30 was so old!  I was a pioneer among our group of friends, even my husband is younger than me.  It was a year to remember. Before my 30th year was over, I'd be a mother.


In the next 6 years, I had 3 more children, our youngest born 3 years after we moved the family to Ohio.  It seems that these days, more than my own birthdays,  I mark the passing years with the start of a new school year.  Things move pretty fast once you have children and the time to think about what you want or where you are going is scarce, at least for me.  Today, I turn 40.  It's a big deal, but rather than have a panic attack, I think I will do myself a favor by considering my blessings.

I am happily married and have been for 13 years. I have a husband who is a good man, who loves me, meets my needs and goes out of his way to meet my wants.  He's a special man, unlike any I have ever known.  I never had a doubt in my mind that he was the man God made for me.  Even through the challenging times of our life, no matter what we face, I know he is mine and I am his. I definitely count him as my biggest blessing.


I have 4 absolutely beautiful children who are tender-hearted and innocent. Yes, of course they make me insane, but that's what kids do.  Despite all of my mistakes in judgement and parenting, they are thriving and love me anyway.  The moment I became a mother, the moment I knew I was pregnant with my first child, my entire perspective on life shifted and nothing will ever be the same. Motherhood is a gift beyond anything I ever imagined. 

I am healthy and strong.  Every year, when my birthday rolls around, I look in the mirror and think, "Well, nuts!" My reflection hasn't been something I've wanted to look at since my first child was born.  2 years ago I started an exercise program that changed my life.  I was squeezing into an 18, happy that it wasn't a size 20.  I'd just had a baby 2 months earlier and my body never handles that well.  I was 38-years-old and unhappy with everything I saw in the mirror.  2 years later, I feel good about myself.  I can fit into clothes I wore when I was 30.  I feel pretty good in a swimsuit, not that I'm bikini ready (and let it be known, that I will never wear a bikini to the town pool).It's been a long road to get here but I'm so proud of the work I've done.

There are a more blessing than I can count. God has looked kindly on me.  Among my other blessings are my family, Kevin's family, our friends, our home, Kevin's job, Team Beachbody.  Truly my blessings are as numerous as the stars.  But I'm a work-in-progress. I'm not done working with the things God has given me to become the woman He wants me to be.  Not by a long shot.  So I'm looking back on the past so I can appreciate where I am now and where I hope to be in the future.  40 is a big deal, but not really.  It's all a matter of perspective.